Lions, kings and the spoons that were exclusively available in a Miami Walmart (not really)

End-of-May identity muse plus a few photos

Though my friends, family and folks of internet acquaintance will tire of hearing it, I am nothing if not a James Clear fangirl(ie). At the risk of hyping what is already hype, his newsletter is among my top three favorite emails to get every week and unless I’m removing a hot skillet from the oven, I will drop what I’m doing to read. Perhaps a longer essay for another day but I credit the tactics explained in his book with whittling down my anxiety to a distant echo of what it used to be. The sticking point for me: adopt the identity you want and go ahead and live it with gusto and commitment. And bonus! You don’t even have to wait for results for it to be true.

“I’m a patient mom.” Ha, of course not. But in every trying situation with my kids I think, how would one of those unshakeable, unflappable (probably French?) career nannies glide through this interminable tantrum? Let me be her. By no exaggeration, I do it with everything. My favorite implementation of aspirational identity adoption is getting dressed. Yes yes, it’s what’s on the inside that counts, but can I get an amen for being your best self when you like the clothes on your back?

Perusing back through the Pinterest vision boards I used to crank out like they would manifest by sheer force of pinning, I have been laughably predictable. In some universe (maybe this one??) I’m swimming off the coast of Greece, a picnic lunch is packed and I’ve got a linen dress tucked away for town and an effortless seaside dinner (this version of me knows a lot about sailing and wine, natch). Let me tell you, the idea of this is so intoxicating that gosh darn it, I will dress as she would, stroll down to our neighborhood pool, dip in luxuriously then glisten on the pool deck like I’m drip drying in the Mediterranean breeze. It’s the mindset, baby! And I’m happy with it.*

*It’s worth noting that this lady also delights in being a slow and steady mom, one who banished business long ago, leaves large spaces in the calendar for spontaneity (should someone with a sailing yacht ever come calling) and feels her most honorable, delighted and sumptuous with a baby on the hip. No, I’m not her (would scuttle a yacht if left in charge) but a gal can dream, eh?

If I weren’t on a hard spending freeze for the foreseeable future, you would catch me in the below, manifesting my Grecian dreams.

From left - linen on linen (for the Greek edition Diane Keaton of my dreams), or dress perfection, gladiators with a dab of gold, or sparkly all the way with these. And to conclude, loafers I will never buy but saw on Becky Malinsky’s superb Substack and would happily and without question accept as a gift because have you ever seen such pure and homey goodness?

Given frugality as my summer reality (yes, that rhymed and it was absolutely on purpose), here is the ACTUAL hero outfit I’ve already worn ~60 times and will continue to putz around in ‘til fall colors are in full swing. May I present the anatomy of a perfect summer mom* outfit starting from the ground up:

*”mom” because this getup won’t cost you a moment of cartwheeling wildness with young ones in tow.

If you see me this summer, there is a 65% chance I’ll be wearing something out of the above cast of characters. Preferably all of them.

1. My barefoot to shoe ratio is like 90:10, but when I must, I will wear tevas. Cool (as in, my feet don’t get hot. I would not exactly die on a hill saying they’re hip), versatile (I have flat feet and love the minimal arch. Would certainly wear them hiking.) and lightweight. Looks cute with a….

2. Flouncy skirt or dress with built in shorts. Don’t go sleeping on built in shorts. Skipping undies in the summer is essential, imo. If you go whole hog and get the dress, then you’ve got a built in bra to boot and voila, you’re fully dressed with literally one garment. Chef’s kiss. OH and the flounce is nice because as an otherwise sporty ensemble, this adds a sweet touch of femininity. Mine is Alo. Would you believe me if I said I salvaged it from my friend’s donation bin? I sure did. Winner winner chicken dinner.

3. Crop top. ‘Nuff said. Actually, let me elaborate. It’s a good length, doubles as a bra (also nursing friendly if you’re dispensing on tap like yours truly), still looks shirt-ish and not completely revealing, and the higher neck is a nice touch to lean chaste.

4. T-shirt or button down on top for when you really do need an actual shirt. Baggy, light and cropped to barely graze the skirt. My t shirt is an XL - don’t want an ounce of tightness. The Bardot button down I got used but try the above for something similar. I’m normally an M and went with an XS because of how oversized it is. It still feels like I can fit two of me inside, which is ideal for summer, no? I would also much rather cycle through breezy button downs for sun protection than ever put on an ounce of SPF wherein it either slides off the moment I start sweating (which is always), or I inhale half the bottle of the spray variety.

I’ve worn it high and low, east and west, and most notably, on a solo late evening stroll around Coconut Grove among the effortlessly beautiful gals of Miami feeling miraculously un-frumpy (and also highly comfortable in the dewey heat). The complete look in various settings:

At the zoo, with our monkeys. I was shocked that for a potentially sticky, crowded and overstimulating outing, it was an exceedingly peaceful day date. Watching animals just exist is so zen. Murphy Jane and I spent a good thirty minutes together in the cool of the underground tunnel smiling at the harbor seal as she glided by again and again. Used the Target tee for modesty while nursing.

With le button down, tied up nostalgic like.

In other news, I went by myself to Miami for a teeny tiny film job that was my favorite experience on set to date. I conveniently forgot my breast pump, had to milk myself in the bathroom between connecting flights, then raced to the nearest Walmart upon arrival to buy the last manual one they had in stock. I actually liked the manual pump a lot! Quiet, packable and more time efficient than I thought it would be. For 99 cents I also picked up a packet of rainbow spoons as a “souvenir” from Florida. Both kids were thrilled to behold such exotic utensils from a faraway land.

Winnie and his spoons <3

Last and best, I was treated to an evening at The Lion King wherein my gal pal date and I both shed tears over the seamlessness of the performances, costumes, set design and music. I hadn’t seen it since fifth grade and was goose-bumped and openly gaping for the majority of the show. In a complete non-sequitur, I’ve also just really been enjoying Trader Joe’s salsa verde. Grab a jar, enjoy some summer.

Thank you, sincerely, for joining me for the first edition newsletter of Smile and Nod! If you know someone else who might enjoy, please pass along!

With gratitude,

Alli